If you are like me, you may get tons of food over the holidays as a gift.

I had a long and deep discussion with one of my Fat Burner's on a personal hot seat last night that I want to share with you.

His question was basically "How do I deal with the food I was given as a gift?''

Naturally a lot of that food is not healthy or good for you although these days even the gift baskets are getting to be low fat.

Is nothing sacred!

Just kidding.

When they start serving food high in Omega 3 fatty acids then we'll know they are onto something.

Anyway here are some simple tips in a nutshell.

1) Don't eat it or don't eat it all.

Blasphemy! Sacrilege!

I can hear my dearly departed, Depression era ancestors shouting from the heavens.

“How can you waste food when there are so many starving people out there!”

Here is the truth.

It is physically impossible for the food your waste to feed anyone else but the pets of the people who work in the restaurant you were eating in, or the local wildlife around your home.

It is physically impossible for food to go from your table to Biafra.

You do remember Biafra don't you? When I was growing up I heard about all the starving people in Biafra on an almost daily basis so that I would clean my plate.

Well can you tell me what actually happened there?

It's amazing how the "food guilt" gets distorted.

The human suffering that happened in long defunct Biafra was the result of political sectarian and regional violence. Tons of food actually got there but was captured by opposition forces and never distributed.

It was not and never is a question of wasted food or even wasted resources, the usual next step in that argument.

Those forces are still at work in the larger arena of Nigeria (home of former Biafra, but you knew that) and this years "Danish cartoon debacle" is just one of a long string of events related to those forces.

Bottom line: if you want to end world starvation, cleaning your plate is not the answer!

As a matter of fact cleaning your plate in an American restaurant can be hazardous to your health and your waste (waist) line so think twice and remember your pets as they are the only ones who will potentially benefit.

Even they will probably suffer from restaurant food!

2) Remember it's the idea behind the food. That is the gift, not the food.

Here is a scenario.

A pie or cake arrives on my doorstep from some kind, well meaning soul.

I open the card, read it and smile. I am grateful that someone took the time to think of me.

Then one of several things can happen and each happens about one third of the time.

a) I find a willing neighbor and give the gift to them explaining that I got several and can't possibly eat them all.

b) Put it in the freezer where it sits until it becomes stale and inedible. Often I make the trek to my mom's house to use her freezer as it is larger and then the food is not in my house.

After it goes stale and becomes inedible I throw it out with a smile. I kindly remember the wonderful, thoughtful person who gave it to me as it sails through the air.

I am for once not being sarcastic or facetious.

I really am thankful and think of them again.

But I am even more proud of myself that their best intentions did not derail my own!

c) I repeat “b” but throw it in the trash immediately. In each case I write a return card thanking them for their kindness.

d) Whenever possible if I am given a gift directly I smile and say, "Thanks so much, I will have to see if any of my nieces or nephews want this as I have troubles with my blood sugar.

This is not entirely false! If I eat the damn pie or cake I am going to have problems with my blood sugar rising and falling and then I am going to be hungry for the wrong things at the wrong times.

You'd be surprised how many cases of apples and pears I get for Christmas now!

Remember it's not the food it's the gift, and the food you "waste" can not be given to anyone else who's not in your immediate vicinity without spoiling.

Eat less, live more!

If you need help over the holidays then you must check out the Fabulous Fat Furnace and Ultra Strength Fat Furnace right away.

You do not need to become part of the epidemic, you can resist and desist while still enjoying food and fitting into your clothes.

If not now, when!

Doc

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P.S. Lazlo B. Zilly's (our resident idiot savant poet) better ways to end world suffering and starvation:

1) Join Medicine without Borders, the direct result of the Biafran crisis.

2) Donate money to the charity of your choice that helps to distribute food and medicine to the needy and poor.

3) Donate your time to a soup kitchen or indigent medical clinic.

4) Join the Sam Kinison "Give 'em U Hauls Foundation". This non existent organization was designed to help people who insist on living in uninhabitable areas like deserts, jungles and war ravaged areas move to more habitable, safe and sane areas.

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Dave Woynarowski, M.D., CPT
The Nation's #1 Anti-Aging Physician

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