The job of wearing a smile

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The job of wearing a smile

Dear Friend,

I got an email 2 or 3 weeks ago that asked the question " Doc, are you really as happy and well adjusted as you seem?"

Now normally I wouldn't have made much of this but the recent teleconference I had surprised me with how many people are not as happy as they'd want to be.

I guess I should have guessed as in my own patient base anxiety and depression were always part of the day.

Now it would take me an entire volume to tell you about "my" recipe for happiness but chances are some of you are at work and only have 2 minutes to read this.

So I'll keep it short sweet and of course, happy!

The 3 F's

Family

Freinds

Faith

I don't talk much about these because frankly it is my personal belief that these are PERSONAL beliefs, but suffice it to say that each one of them is a critical and deep part of my support system.

Next, I want to go back to an email I wrote just a few days ago about human needs.

In that email I said that human behavior and to a great extent happiness is determined by a kind of internal conflict between the need for security and acceptance, and the need for simulation and adventure.

So here is a little quiz for you.

Are you secure in your family relationships, work relationships and do you have a good support system of friends and or faith?

Bottom line: with very rare exceptions people need people.

If I had to put my finger on the one thing that seems to gall, frustrate anger sadden and immobilize people it's the people in the three categories I just mentioned.

Now it's pretty hard to have all of them working in perfect harmony at once but if you do you can tolerate a lot of other nonsense that the world may throw your way.

So look to these areas if you are chronically unhappy and try to figure out where there might be room for improvement.

By the way, improvement is a 2-way street so don't just blame it on everyone else!

Also, you may not be able in today's world to have security at your job the way you were brought up to believe. You may need to find it in the other two areas I mentioned.

As a matter of fact I have seen people who have only one of the 3 F's and they do just fine if that one area is particularly strong.

Next, let's look at stimulation, adventure.

Geez, people are friggin' bored and jaded these days.

And this is not a generational thing. True kids these days can be very intellectually lazy and want their stimulation served up on an instantaneous silver platter, but we adults are often not far behind.

So in my own life there is endless stimulation. The constant need to learn, to do, to think leaves me with ne're a dull moment.

I am also usually dealing with someone else's problems so I don't have a whole lot of time to focus on my own. I think if you left me on an island somewhere I would be a brooding, neurotic, hyper type of person.

But when surrounded by people who have bigger issues, all that melts away when I can help or at least try to help them.

Some of the happiest people I know are volunteers.

And I have gotten used to and actually like the "never done" situation. After all you are never done living until you die so I want to max out every moment as much as I can.

So another little quiz for you would be: 1) Are you engaged in and enjoying your work. If not is there a way you (and I mean you because no one else is going to do it for you) could make it better or more interesting/fun.

You might not think of a doctor's office as a lot of fun, but I have to tell you I've had some tremendously fun times that did not come at the expense of anyone else.

We just had a very fun group of people who saw the humor and joy in situations even in the midst of suffering sadness and illness.

This kind of situation can defuse some of the stresses and make it fun to go to work. Man do people need a little humor.

For us it all started with one of these on line joke services, each person had a day to bring in a joke. Soon after people were bringing in all kinds of jokes and I swear people's sense of humor got better.

Another project we had was the "Make Wally Laugh" contest. Wally was the most morbid chronically low grade miserable person we had. Yet even he started to brighten up and enjoy himself.

Wally by the way eventually became introspective enough to realize he hated the job he was doing and with the support of the rest of us went out and got a great new job.

He is now chronically happy and thankful.

And he smiles most of the time.

So it's a good idea to surround yourself with the kind of people you want to be like as much as possible. If you whine and moan all the time that is exactly the kind of people you will find surrounding you. Then it will be a contest as to who can whine the most.

Another thing that all too often falls by the wayside is physical exercise.

People ask me why I run when I know it is bad for my joints. Well I usually go into a lecture about "how with proper supplementation" you can overcome free radical damage and buffer your joints, but on days when I feel like a short answer I simply say, " I like the way it makes me feel."

There are many healthy ways to exercise. Find the one that makes you feel the best and do it on a regular basis.

Ok I think my 2 minutes are up now so I just want to remind you that for me and thousands of others supplements like my fish oil, Sleep Wizard and Instant Brain Power, all of which are mood enhancing make the job of wearing a smile easy. Fish oil

Dr Dave's Sleep Wizard
Instant Brain Power

Have a great day and don't forget to love yourself. I can help you change what you don't love about yourself.

I am off for a run.

All the Best,

Dr Dave

"Others will copy but none compare!"

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Copyright 2005

Dave Woynarowski, M.D., CPT
The Nation's #1 Anti-Aging Physician

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